Learning Each Day - II

I once told someone I forgive but I don't forget. Understably shocked, this person said okay, that's scary. And it was. I very obviously had a very loose grasp on the concept of forgiveness at the time, and very long afterwards. These past three days things have been happening that I firmly believe are far from coincidence. Sunday morning before reading or even opening my devotional, while leafing through my bible I somehow stopped and read the book of Jonah. Yes, I and the whole world know the story and how he got trapped in the big fish, still I stopped to read it. Then a few minutes later when I started reading the devotional, one of the day's bible readings happened to be from Jonah. Hmm, coincidence? Maybe. Well, that very night while watching TV and flipping through the channels I momentarily stopped to listen to a televangelist speak. And guess what he started talking about some minutes after I had tuned in?

I Am A Woman

I am a woman. I am strong. I carry loads known to no one I endure pain known to no man I keep confindences sacred to many Secrets that are not mine Yet known by only I I withstand heartache seen by no eye I fight battles fought by no man I am a woman I wear a face so brave Look each in the eye Carry my head high Hold my shoulders back And speak with a voice firm I am strong I am a woman I am a woman I am weak I am afraid of the dark I am afraid of spiders - and lizards Even when I would rather not ask I find myself in need I am without strength of muscle I am unlike a man 

Learning each day - I

I'm learning each day.
"Saying wise things, sounding wise, is not the same as being wise and acting wisely."
I'm so very guilty of not understanding this one here, but I'm learning each day - To walk the talk.

Sunday Bloom

The gloom.
Blinds drawn,
To let the sun bless,
Share her glow,
The gloom to dispel.

A call to He above,
Lorn and long.
Same each morn,
Songs of praise,
A sigh, a prayer,
His gentle hand I feel,
Never too far away,
To bestow bloom,
Blessings anew,
Flames of faith,
Flickers of hope,
And embers of love.
That eternal trio - faith, hope and love,
At my core abloom.

Clear skies,
Humming birds.
Clear as daylight,
Nature disagrees.
Knows not of the gloom,
Creeping up every morn.
No abode for gloom,
Nature gently screams.
'Oh, what do you know?'
I want to ask. 
Perspective dawns.
Faith. Hope. Love.
'These three remain.'
And nature is abloom.
I yield.
I partake of her bloom.

I picked these orange blossoms up this morning on my way from church. Wonder what their name is. The little set up on which they stand, that I have had for some time now. I like looking at it, makes me smile, especially the bust of bright colours on the stand (it's an improvised one). Lately the vase has been sitting there empty, so this morning I decided to put it to good use, add more colour to the set-up, light up the corner. Sunday bloom. I saw these flowers and thought, pretty, I'm taking you with me.

I hope you had a lovely Sunday.

Much Love,

It's Freeing! Off The Facebook.

I finally did it!

I'd been pondering leaving Facebook for a while. I just hadn't come round to it yet. You see, I had real friends there, and a 'life' there so to speak. I'm not one of those people that have 500 to 2000 Facebook friends or more. I really didn't see the need of 'friending' hundreds of people I didn't intend to stay in touch with, or be friends with in the true sense of the word. Most of my Facebook friends are people I know and have met; friends from school, university, and other areas of my life. Those that I hadn't met were friends of the friends I had met, whom I felt I knew in some way. I could say those I knew nothing of but ended up friending made up only 1%. I rarely (perhaps never) accepted a friend request unless the requester and I had more than a couple of random interests ( a musician, activity, etc) in common. I took this Facebook friending seriously, complete with a mini background check (person's wall, activities, etc) before accepting the friend request. Call me paranoid, call me thorough, that's just me. And these friends were for a very long time, up until late last year at a simple number of 50 friends. These slowly increased to about 170. Why? I had more time on my hands, and a more regular internet connection. And that was the figure at which I closed, after about 5 or 6 years of facebooking.

Some may say I was missing out on the whole point of a global networking site but I would say not. I'm as networked as I could ever want to be. The circles and information I need are still out there, Facebook or no Facebook. Yes, Facebook makes it easier but so does email, LinkedIn, and all the rest. There's also always the old phone call. It works wonders. Most recent example being me needing to get back to the runway. A phone call did just fine. No Zuckerberg.

Also, all the people I need to be in touch with, those worth the time, I can always get by email, sms, or a call. It costs more, but neither was Facebook free. I paid for that internet too. Except of course, my internet package payment is constant whether I get on to the Facebook or not. Sigh. Whatever. There are pros and cons to the whole Facebook thing. The cons just simply out-weighed pros. So shut went my Facebook account. At first I was hesitant to pull out. My blogs auto-feed to my Facebook page and most of my blog's traffic comes from the feeds to the Facebook page. So I withdrew from active participation on Facebook and left the account running so that my readers would find my blog pages with ease.

For me, Facebook was that one place that I never failed to find something that made me laugh, on any given day. When I was down in the dumps I logged on, left a few funny one-liners of my own here and there, read and laughed at other people's, and when I wasn't feeling up to it, simply faked it. Sometimes, like they say, you gotta fake it until you make it. Does that work for happiness and success too? Fake it until you make it? I know it works for self-confidence and learning how to smile. Yes, I had to learn how to smile. Or should I say I had to learn how to smile unselfconsciously? And I faked it, until I mastered it. A smile and laughter can be faked on Facebook too, with ease. :) LOL. There. The world thinks you're amused. Honestly, though, I mostly always found some genuine things to laugh about and always logged out feeling lighter. There were some serious discussions there too. I have friends interested in human rights, LGBT issues, pan-africanism, politics, African writing, history, et cetera, and we would get into some serious discussions, even arguments. But a lot of the time, I went to Facebook to escape from the drudgery and stress that life can be, joked a lot on Facebook, and did the same old stuff that millions of other people are doing such as over-sharing - like any one other than me really cares how big the bouquet of flowers my boyfriend carried to the airport was, how many bars of Snickers I eat a day, or how tiring and stressful my day was. But yes, I shared all this stuff all the same, liked pages created by others, and as I recently learnt, sometimes appeared to be someone I wasn't. The Facebook! What else is new.

I finally deactivated my Facebook account. I tell you, it feels so freeing, I feel lighter and more peaceful. I don't know what it is, may be it's the feeling of having one less account to log in to? But no, it's got to be more than that. Anyway, I'm off The Facebook. Digital me now resides on Blogger, WordPress and Twitter. Lord, does it ever end, this on-line life? One hiccup, though. I took lots of backstage pics of the fashion show (will post some later) and it turned out no one else had brought their camera along. All the girls of course wanted to have pictures of themselves, and they suggested we friend each other on Facebook so that I can send them the links to the pictures, or tag them. With the cost of the internet in this country, I should have charged them! I'm kidding of course. About charging them. About the internet costs, I don't know why we are not up in arms yet!

So, for the past two days, my Facebook account has been rife with notifications of me becoming friends with so and so. Now that I've closed the account before uploading the pics, I'll have to figure out a way to get the pics to the girls. Looks like I have some work cut out for me, trying to find out their email addresses. I'll just give them a Google Picasa link. That should suffice. See? Who needs the Facebook?

Oh, I forgot LinkedIn. Yes, I'm there too. A girl has got to earn a living, ergo the LinkedIn. Maybe one day I won't have to. I'll just stay home, bake bread, look after the kids and make a beautiful home in beautiful colours. I've been feeling all maternal for a while, I guess it's time. Next thing you know, I'll be out shopping for a bassinet and baby clothes. It's a boy, ladies and gentlemen. I know it, I feel it. Actually, two of them. Twins.

Back to the day's headlines, I'm off Facebook. I'm not certain what my blog traffic is going to look like from now on, but the Facebook ship has sailed and I've jumped off.

That Which Has Given You Sorrow

The poet Kahil Gibran wrote:

“When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow, that is giving you joy. The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.’’

Tell me, people, what do you think?


In Time Of Chaos

This is an excerpt from something I heard on 27th October, but it somehow ended up in my drafts folder. It was titled Surviving Hardship In Time Of Chaos. As we start a new week I thought I'd share it with you:

God's delays are not God's denials. He is waiting for your endurance, for persistence to overcome resistance. God will first take you through the university of adversity, before making you leaders in the kingdom of God. 

Surviving Hardship In Time Of Chaos

1, 2, 3 - I'm afraid I missed points 1, 2, and 3, but I'll try hard to look around for them (Google to the rescue!) and include them. Lol. 'So why didn't you just not mention them at all', you may wonder. Anyway, I got point 4 though, and it got me thinking.

 4. Ignore the winds and the waves When Jesus ordered the apostle to walk on water, he was doing fine until he started focusing on the waves and the howling winds. When you focus on the threat you'll experience fear. When you focus on Jesus you experience victory.

I wish those insightful wise words were mine, but I only got them from a telecast of Pastor John Hagee. I hope they touched you too, and helped you somehow.

Have a good Monday, and an even better week.

Au revoir! Much Love,

Pink & Harem

Pink Harlem3

More bright colours. You know why. Plus they look real good. So out came the shimmer and the Harem pants. I wore this to an appointment with my aunt. We hadn't met in a quite a while, and if I ever turn up looking below pa, she gives me a soft lecture on letting myself go, and looking fab, full time. That's what paternal aunts do here. May be one day I'll tell you more about their role. I promise you'll be informed, entertained, and amused. But not today. The looking fab all the time, same lessons I get from my loving mother, Her Royal Fabulousness. She has no forgiveness for anyone that sells themselves short in any aspect of life, and she has got this whole fab thing going much, much more than I do. She inspires me to be the best I can be. No, I don't mean dress-wise... I mean in life as a whole. To today's outfit. More colour. Colour breathes life in to life. Does that make sense?

Back To The Runway

My modeling career had been put on the shelf for sometime now. Now and then, I took out my high heels took a walk to and fro down the hallway or the living room, but that was about it. Recent unhappy events now have me rediscovering my fun-loving self, so off and back to the runway I go. The catwalk, ladies and gentlemen. One of the real good designers here is holding a fashion show next week, and I had been hearing the ads on radio for some time now but hadn't given it much thought. Then I thought, well, you really should go walk in that show. Friday, I called up some friends, found out who was in charge. Thankfully she happened to be someone I had worked with in preparation for Uganda Fashion Week a couple of years ago, and she remembered me.

  Xenson's Fashion Show

 Me: Hi Camilla, etc, etc...

Camilla: Oh yes, I remember you! The tallest girl during boot camp...

Me, laughing: No, not really, Achen was the tallest.

Camilla: Yes, but you were the tallest girl with .... (she went on with a flattering list of good qualities, which included my not-bad-at-all runway walk while I laughed self-consciously).

Camilla at fashion show prep
Camilla, wearing one of Stella's designs. Not for the show. Just everyday wear.
So I tell Camilla I would like to walk in the show and she says, of course, do drop by for try-outs and fitting on Saturday. And yippee! went yours truly. Thank God for old friends and keeping in touch! I now had a go-see to go to. Come Saturday, I packed my high heels and went to go meet Camilla and the designers, and of course the other girls. And there were lots of them (they could have been 40, even 50), some dressed up in outrageously eye-catching outfits (you gotta put your best foot forward, right?). It's usually the new girls that go all out, though. Rules of a go-see are to keep it minimal while showing off your best points at the same time. Just another case of less is more.

Polka Purple II

As promised (months ago!) here, here's the full polka purple outfit. I'm making an extra effort to wear bright colours lately as I've been down in the dumps for way too long and my mood needs a lift. Bright colours like purple add some elation to life.

Unlike Facebook, it's harder on one's blog to pretend all is merry, perhaps because there's more writing done; and not just a few one-liners, a smiley and a LOL as one would do on Facebook. Unless of course the plan is to blog about the turmoil, then the writing would be easier. There's something about sorrow that makes it hard to hold back once you start pouring out your heart. So of course - as happens when I'm not feeling up to the writing - I've got a number of drafts, all waiting for that emotional/spiritual lift that'll have me up again. For now I'm resorting to the things that make me smile, without fail. One of those, no doubt, being fashion (exciting news here!). And here's to purple, more bright colours, smiles (real and fake) and happiness (real).

 Polka Purple II
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